I am broke up. I have never been in a physically abusive relationship. I have a very close Friend currently in one, and it’s breaking my heart in to pieces. I don’t know the details, but I know this is not the first time. Waking up this morning and reading unread messages from over night brought a tear to my eye.
Yesterday, we had a conversation about some mobile Adobe tools to help her connect with the creative side of herself. Before I went to bed, I asked if they worked for her. I went to bed. Her response was that it wasn’t important because she had been hit.
My eyes started watering…
Her reason for staying is that she feels financially dependent on him. She’s been a stay-at-home Mom for a while now. She’s crafty, creative and social media knowledgable. I would like to help her get out of this situation.
Since the beginning of time I have been the Protector. I have younger cousins that I used to stick with to protect them from their older brothers. I would go out of my way to walk people home. Even now, I drop off my daughter’s volleyball teammates and get out of the car and wait for the parents to open the door before I get in my car and leave. I never let a female walk next to the road…
Part of it is being male. We think we can fix everything. But what happens when it’s the males that are broken? Do I have an obligation to try to fix this situation. Do I have a right to be protective of someone else’s mate even with one of my own?
My first instinct is to reach out to Friends who can house her and her 2 boys. Then help her find a gig so she can provide for them. Then tell her to pack her shit and leave the scumbag. But is that my place? Should that be all of ours? Again, I have never been in an abusive relationship. But as an outsider, this fuckin’ sucks to watch someone you care about being treated this way. What makes it worse, for me, is that she lives several hours away.
What can I do? How can I help? I care too much to let this continue.