So, this morning while in the shower, I identified that I suffer from a seriously debilitating disorder called Perfastination. It’s a serious (albeit completely made-up) disorder that resides at the intersection of perfection and procrastination. It’s so debilitating that it keeps me from working on anything until that perfect idea comes along.
Only when I feel I have stumbled upon the most mind-blowing design of my entire career that will propel me to the upper echelon of designers, will I finally get to work.
We all know it’s all made up and shit, but this disorder has me trailing in my current After Effects class. It’s not that I don’t know how to do the work, it’s just that I want the work to be so genuine, so advanced that the teacher’s assistants flock to me and ask me to teach the class…
I have generally been the top of the class in most classes I have taken, and seeing the work done in this class has me feeling a bit inadequate and hyper-competitive. Some of these animators are amazing! And I want to be one of those top student (even though I have exactly 3 weeks and 1 day of animation training…)
I have pinned myself behind the proverbial eight ball. On one hand, do I just get the work done and then listen to a critique that is most likely in line with my exact thoughts? Or do I wrestle with my own hubris and fall further and further behind? I have made the decision to do the former and not the latter. But how do I conquer my own inner voices —along with some creative imposter syndrome — and trudge forward?
I know this is just a class and is no means a testament of ALL I can do. The point here is to learn, and get better, and take critique and grow with people who are IN the field of animation. It’s tough to have that dialogue if there is no work to show. But knowing myself the way I do, I want to put the most perfect foot forward. So how do I overcome? Who’s got the directions to Perfection Place?
If you have this disorder as well, let’s band together. We can blindly lead each other around Creative Circle until we find Done Work Way — or we finally realize that we are just procrastinating even more and finally break down and get the work done…
Stay tuned to the next 3 weeks and see if I have made progress. Here’s what I plan to do:
- Get the work done. That’s all that really matters at this point. Put out SOMETHING to show and be engaged. There’s DEFINITELY something to learn no matter how perfect I think my idea is.
- Get the work done. That’s all that really matters at this point. Get the feedback from the TAs. There’s so much more that I haven’t even thought of. My chasing perfection is a losing race…
- Get the work done. That’s all that really matters at this point — PERIOD!
And finally, AFTER the work gets done, work on another version that’s given a bit more thought and incorporates the feedback from the critique. So the plan — starting today — is to complete the new assignment, then go back and wrap up the previous assignments. It’s not that I don’t know how to do them, I just need to get them done.
EDIT: One project down, 2 to go! And I am caught up on this week’s assignments.